After showing my symposium 2 video. I tried to explain my motive to everyone, on why I had made a separate space on Instagram, from my main blog = in order to create art without critical judgment. I also spoke about my gripe with art institutes and the underlying theme of racism, it’s defiantly not a comfortable subject to talk about, to be honest. The reason for this, it is because it does not effect the majority, but the minority, and it does exist, it’s not just in my head!
I also tried to explain that I wanted to disappear from my work completely at some point in my art practice. Because, I felt doing live performance caused problems for me, were my peers and tutors in the past disrespected my boundaries. And then the work, of course, became about my body instead of the artwork itself.
Some people said during the discussion that it seemed sad that I was going to disappear from my work (in the physical sense). I had said, I was in a much more happier place and I had more control over what the viewer could see. Maybe in a sense, I also have a little more control over people’s reaction to my work, as an outcome. I will be honest, there is a tinge of sadness, not sure why? Maybe because I am saying goodbye to the old me and creating a new chapter for myself and my art practice.
I really cannot shake off the feeling of freedom and the space of exploration I feel, with this new beginning. I believe this was the refinement I was looking for, in my artwork’s, it’s called, control or being the puppet master!
I had mentioned during the discussion and on my last tutorial with Jonathan that I had destroyed all, if not most of my art at the end of term 5. The art that I had destroyed was right from the beginning of my art journey 8 years ago! I explained apart from making contrasting works for Instagram, I had also used the platform to record my old artworks before they were destroyed. This was like keeping the memory’s of my artwork without the heavy load, “yes I was here, and I made this, and it did exist”. But, now I am free.
Joe mentioned the artist John Baldessari, regarding that destruction is a form of creation. And I would say, it is exactly what I have done with my art. I have wanted to cleanse and purify my practice from the old into the new. And I believe that the degree show for 2018 is a transitional period. Were I will be saying goodbye to the old me and welcoming the new me!
I cried when I came home and I am crying as I write this post.